Transfer deadline: Liverpool fail in late bid for 45-year-old Sunday league player
Liverpool were left disappointed when the transfer deadline passed last night as they failed in their last-ditch attempt to get absolutely anyone to sign for them, with a late bid for local pub regular Rob Welles not materialising as he decided to hit the hay early.
The club were willing to offer Welles more in a week than he gets currently in a year, but it was not enough to tempt him.
Welles said, “I know that Liverpool is a great club with a rich tradition.
“Actually, no-one thinks that anymore apart from Liverpool.
“All the same I did consider it for a bit but I was worried I couldn’t go five minutes in the same dressing room as Luis Suarez without going to prison for trying to strangle him.”
Spurs new man Clint Dempsey added, “I decided to sign for Tottenham purely because they’re not Fulham or Liverpool.”
Chelsea will regret not making more signings due to their outrageous European luck running out as they were humiliated 4-1 by Athletico Madrid.
Torres was proven unerringly correct again in his predictions about not scoring against his former club, which is not such a surprise as he rarely scores these days.