“Why oh why does Andy Carroll get selected for England?” asks Stephen Hawking
Andy Carroll’s continued selection to start for England has confounded the greatest mind of all.
Stephen Hawking, not normally a big football follower, was drafted in to try to deduce what was going on in Roy Hodgson’s mind, but it has proved to be a problem even he cannot solve.
“This puzzle’s significantly more difficult than working out the big bang,” Hawking admitted.
“There appears to be no logical explanation – in any dimension that I think of.
“I just hope it turns out that Hodgson’s nuts.”