Closing ceremony to feature millions of women celebrating spontaneously and clobbering assorted Britpop performers
After three weeks of utter oppression due to the Olympics, Britain’s women are planning to fight back tonight during the closing ceremony.
Almost everyone will be relieved as the ceremony is supposed to star any number of Britpop artists, sending the Games off in an eternal crescendo of caterwauling.
It is hoped that they will be able to overrun and disrupt the show before the Spice Girls show up.
Director of the ceremony Kim Gavin said, “Tonight will give the Games the perfect end before heading to Rio.”
Shortly afterwards, men in long white coats came to drag him away, kicking and screaming.