Kicking Sport

The national shame grows as the parents of Jamie Hughes, who turns six on Saturday, decided that they would be better off finding an alternative than having G4S staff acting as bouncers.

“You’re fired”

This latest debacle comes as chief executive Nick Buckles appears to be up for an Olympic gold medal for global humiliation.

Jamie said, “G4S are rubbish and my granddad can do much better.

“And we’re sure my chain-smoking aunt will be hanging around outside during the whole party, which is more than we can say for G4S.”