Kicking Sport

Lionel Messi is to receive the Ballon d’Or approximately half a year earlier than he usually does after his only rival, Cristiano Ronaldo, was outperformed by Nicklas Bendtner tonight.

Despite Portugal winning 3-2 against Denmark in their Euro 2012 clash, Ronaldo came a cropper as he always does when it matters most, fortunately having Nani in the same team to detract from some of the mocking.

Bendtner scored two headers for his country, meaning that Arsenal can hope to double their asking price – from £5 to £10.

“Cry me a river”