Roy Hodgson continues passive-aggressive revenge campaign
Shifty plotter
England manager Roy Hodgson is seemingly unrelenting in his passive-aggressive revenge campaign against all those who doubted his appointment by making another shocking selection call.
Liverpool youngster Martin Kelly was called up to replace injured Gary Cahill, despite Rio Ferdinand being fit and eager to join the squad.
Everyone would have been shocked and appalled by Hodgson’s choice if they had not been expecting it from the moment the FA announced he would succeed Fabio Capello.
Psychologist Professor Wang Li confirmed, “Analysis of Hodgson’s behaviour points clearly to a passive-aggressive reaction, whether conscious or unconscious.
“It’s the only explanation for his selection decisions.”
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Fears of Euro 2012 racism intensify after news John Terry should be fit
Concerns about racism during the Euros in Poland and Ukraine have reached a new level after news suggested that John Terry should be fit to appear at the tournament.
Terry had to leave the pitch during the friendly win against Belgium after the opponent’s black striker Romelu Lukaku prepared to come on as a substitute.
Manager Roy Hodgson affirmed, “It looks like John is going to be fit to play in the Euros.
“Obviously that’s worrying for England and even more worrying for everyone else.
“Many people might end up wondering what on earth possessed me to select him, but when they look at some of the other squad members, they’ll probably understand.”
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Hype surrounding London 2012 David Beckham show utterly relentless
The main attraction
The media coverage and hype of the impending London 2012 David Beckham show is already reaching unbearable levels in the UK.
Celebrations are under way, including a torch procession around the country taking months, representing Beckham’s endless burning ability to be in front of the cameras.
Constant media exposure has resulted in him having to talk about things that he actually has little concept of, such as success and winning medals at international tournaments.
With weeks remaining until the main David Beckham events even start, it remains to be seen how many people retain any interest whatsoever.
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Swansea shoot themselves in foot by contractually preventing Liverpool overspending on average players
Swansea are already regretting putting a protection clause in new Liverpool manager Brendan Rodgers’ contract after learning that the Reds are now unable to submit their £25 million bid for Danny Graham.
The Swans will also miss out on raking in £18 million for Nathan Dyer (who would still be a much better bargain than Stewart Downing) and a reported £45 million for Gylfi Sigurdsson.
Chairman Huw Jenkins tritely confessed, “I’ll admit we didn’t think this one through.
“When Brendan moved on we were sure some of the players would want to follow him, but we forgot how much Liverpool spent under Dalglish.
“At least in 12 months we could be in for a windfall.
“If Brendan hasn’t been hounded out by then.”
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“Gamble” Rodgers still odds-on to survive longer than Dalglish
Bets are off
The widespread horror at Liverpool caused by the news Swansea boss
Brendan Rodgers will replace Kenny Dalglish
has come as no surprise.
But despite virtually everyone branding the selection a “gamble”,
Rodgers is still a clear favourite to do the job ten times better than
his predecessor.
One season ticket holder revealed, “All we know about Rodgers is that
during his time at Swansea he made some astute signings, got the team
playing great football and took the club into a new era of success.
“So why on earth would anyone think he would be welcome at Liverpool!”
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Ukraine anger over Campbell diversion tactics
Ukraine have responded indignantly to Sol Campbell’s comments about racism in the country, surely made to divert attention away from the impending embarrassment caused by England’s fans and especially players.
Campbell advised English to stay at home to avoid racism and violence, but the organisers have pointed out that the latter is far more likely to be caused by Campbell’s countrymen.
Euro 2012 director Markian Lubkivsky retorted, “It’s bad enough England qualify for this tournament but making such comments is below the belt even for them.
“They can be concerned about the Ukraine if they like, but they should remember that everyone else is far more worried about their lot, and especially their brand of football.
England defender Phil Jagielka weighed in by stating his belief in Roy Hodgson to inspire the team to new levels of disappointment.
The real Hazard
Back in the Premier League, Eden Hazard has announced he will join Chelsea after they were the first club to retweet his pleas for someone to pay him even more money.
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Andrew Strauss saved by customary Windies charity
All smiles (for now)
Andrew Strauss has become the latest England cricket captain to be saved by the generosity of the Windies on one of their early summer tours.
England beat the tourists to clinch the series 2-0, whilst Strauss hit two centuries in two games despite going fifty without one beforehand.
He therefore joins the long list of those who have had their painful tenures excruciatingly prolonged by the Windies showing as much application as English footballers at a major international tournament.
A triumphant Strauss added, “Being compared against the West Indies and the England football team in the same summer would make anyone look competent.
“What with Euro 2012 starting soon I’m going to seem like a tactical genius quicker than you can say ‘Hodgson out’.”
